May 30 2012

This year I turn 25. Yes, believe it, it's true!! And when I think about my life as it is, I always wonder what the heck I was thinking when I was younger. When I was young, I always thought that by the time I was 25, I'd be married, have my own land, with only the nicest horses, I'd have money and that I would be graduated from college with a biology degree. Haha - yeah so much for that!!! Currently life as it is ... is the complete opposite. I never pursued my degree in biology due to failing chemistry twice. While I rent land, I don't own any. I'm broke. And while I have nice horses, there are always better. As for the married, that's a joke. Can we say single?? But life as I know it now, is doable. I am currently in college pursuing a degree in auto-mechanics (I know what you're thinking, from biology to auto-mechanics?? Haha yeah that's me!!) This spring semester I'm taking diesel mechanics and emissions diagnostics. While I could be bitter that life didn't turn out quite like I had hoped it would, I find myself being ever so grateful for life as it is. If I don't stay grateful, I get high. And if I'm high, I lose everything. As of April 21 2012, I will have been clean for 2 years. I have hit this mark twice, and both times have found a way to sabotage it. But I'm determined. My habit of sabotaging things and life in general, has ceased to exist. While some people, who will go unnamed, have said I am throwing life away. It just simply isn't true. Four of my six horses are for sale, four very nice ones in fact. I haven't given up on the dream of owning really nice horses, but these aren't the ones that I need to keep. Despite what some may say!!! So turning 25 in a few months makes me think about my dreams and hopes for the future. While when I was 18 I wanted to be a biology major, being 25 has different ideas. Farming is my life goal; beef cattle, dairy goats, alpacas, pigs, and of course hunter jumper horses. Arabian horses are NOT my thing. While I missed showing on that circuit, I found that I just didn't fit there. I belong with the warmbloods, and thoroughbreds on the hunter jumper circuit. I bought a new horse in November 2011, a Paint horse. You say, "That's not a warmblood or thoroughbred... that's a stock horse". Yes that's true. But he has the same temperament of a warmblood, and is just as big!!! He is palomino paint, with blue eyes and he's a stallion. He moves flat kneed like a hunter and is bred out the wazoo. Can we say APHA World?? Yes, I think we can!!! :) If I don't like showing APHA, I can show him in the open hunter circuit. The arabian I have, took me to Nationals, and come to find, it's just another arabian show!! No big deal, nothing spectacular. Which when I said that people were offended. Ha... oh well!!!
My horses are a part of my well being. They keep my pride humble, my pockets empty, and when I need a good thrill they always provide!! My dreams now consist of one day maybe get married (I hope he's handsome, rich and is a farmer at heart!). Eventually buy some land and have my animals on it with a one bedroom shack for me. Train horses full time and work on the farm. I dream of only going out when I need grain, or need food. OR When I want to go to a show :) Other then that, I can just stay on the farm and say " to heck with the rest "... 25 here I come. In case you are wondering, you didn't hear from me at all in 2011... simply because I was working three jobs trying to make ends meet and riding 15 horses a day!! I went to a show every weekend. On the week days I was working from sun up to sun down... and when I would come home I would sleep!! So my apologies to my readers for not keeping you updated. It was a good year, but this 2012 is going to be FAR better... you will see.