well ain't that precious!!

Some days I wonder what people are thinking. I have bipolar disorder and some times I see my disorder in other people and wonder why I'm the one they medicated! Very often do I catch myself wanting to offer random people my medicine. However, I resist from asking due to the chance of getting punched in the face! Thank goodness for a great doctor that works with me to keep people from blogging about my personality flaws and my incredibly high and low mood swings! Yesterday was one of those days that I caught myself wanting to ask people if they need the number to my psychiatrist. I mean, people who hate me were saying how great I am...and people who love me (typically) were telling me to leave them alone!! It was quite confusing and at a moment in time I was asking myself  "friend or foe?"  It still leaves me befuddled... and when I can say nothing bad about anyone I just say "Ain't that precious!"
I have hit a hard time in my life where I know what I have to do according to God's will, however I also know what I would rather do!! Go figure?? I'm a trainer... I train hunter jumper horses. And I love a good jumper and a good hunter! There's nothing like it. I have been a trainer since I was 18 and have ridden many horses, good and bad. But today I realize that training horses full time is not where God wants me. I was wondering the past few months why I have been so miserable doing what I love, then suddenly it hit me. About a year ago God put a call on my life to go into the ministry. It was an exciting day but I told God that I would do it but I would also train horses. And the past few months God has showed me that if I go into the ministry I can not train horses full time. Plain and simple. I realize that this is probably because horses would take priority over what God wants me to do. This is very hard for me to get a grip on. So what did I do? I decided to go God's way and just train as needed. I will only own two horses... the two new warmbloods, Archie and Scarlet. And go down the path that God wants me to go down. I have always had big dreams and big ambitions... but there's a song that says "dreams fade and plans fail". How true it is! It's not that God is taking me away from my dream, it's that He is giving me a new one. "God put a song in my heart today, He put my feet on a solid rock to stay. He gave me words in my heart to sing, a song of praise hallelujah"