Somethings just not right...

Have you ever had one of those days where you were so busy but at the end of it all you realize that you got absolutely nothing accomplished? That has been my day!!
So, I am now the proud employee of a dairy farm - it's a very cool job. I LOVE farming. Animals are far easier to deal with than people - even the animals that poop on you. Which, in a dairy farm, I have found that this happens a lot!! I know, gross right? For sure. This is why my mom makes me go straight to the bathroom to take a shower as soon as I walk in the door. But it's fun. The only thing I dislike about this job are the hours. 6 in the morning, REALLY? But it's all good. So now the typical day in the life of Kristan is as follows - 6am go to work, 10am come home from work, 10:30am go to second job, 2pm come home from second job. 2:30pm go to barn, 7pm come home from barn... if it's meeting night, go to a meeting. If it's not, do homework. And somedays, I go to school instead of work - which by the way, I would rather be getting pooped on by cows than sitting in a class room listening to professors yak about whatever they yak about. But, since I told my wonderful Gmom I would make good grades, I will do so.
In other news my psychiatrist let me go off my meds... all except for the ones that make me sleep. I'm super excited about this. Some people I know were not excited about this. But they can get over it. I enjoy my slightly manic state - I get so much accomplished and it's like I'm the energizer bunny - I keep going and going and going and going and going... etc. It's a lot of fun, I have been in this really good mood too. It's a beautiful thing.
Horses are a whole world of their own. I jump from world to world... currently the horse world is a little hectic. Lot's of horses that need to be ridden and only one Kristan! But, do you think that really bothers me? Nah!! I love it... I would rather be super busy in my horse world, than to have nothing to do. So I started training this HUGE horse named Shorty. He is an appendix quarter horse that stands 16'3 hands tall. He is a giant. He has not cared about having someone on his back, until you push him. He's been under saddle for almost two weeks now and I still cannot get him to canter. All he does is buck!! It's a lot of fun. Sitting up there on this giant horse that would just assume to buck you off rather than to canter. I would even take a lope at this point. Than I'm riding this little tennessee walker named Magic? Some of you might remember him from last year. Well he is for sale so I'm working him a couple times a week until he sells. He is a really fun little horse... Had someone come to look at him today but they were more interested in talking to me about training the horse they already have rather than looking at Magic. My little sister is working a horse named Flash - a little palomino quarter horse... he is also for sale. Someone was supposed to come look at him today but they never showed up. Than there's Max... who decided today that since someone was there to look at him and possibly buy him, he would just be lame!! Yeah, the day before yesterday we were jumping a course of 2'6 ... he wasn't lame then. I longed him before the people came... he wasn't lame then!! But as soon as I got on that horse to show him off... he went lame. I was like" You little devil". The good news is that the girl still liked him a lot. So the vet is going to be called and hopefully she will just say "he was faking it" and I can call the girl and tell her to come buy this stupid animal! I am soooooo ready for that horse to be gone. I rode Jack today - poor guy... he is such a sweetheart... and a very hard worker... but sometimes he has brain farts. We were jumping and the jump was in the middle of the arena... so he thought that he could just run out instead of jumping it. Oh how he was so wrong. Not only did I ride him over it several times, but later on in the day I also longed him over it. He got the hang of having to go over the jump. I also had the chance to ride Blue. I rode him in the field... he is so fat!! I rode him for 20 minutes and he was done! He couldn't have taken any more... and I wasn't going to push him. Show season starts in a week - woo hoo!! Blue's first show is April 10 and Jack's first show is April 3. Hopefully they will both do well. I thought about taking Jack to the show on April 10 as well... but I'm not so sure he will be ready for such things.
Have you ever felt like your day needs another 8 hours in order to do everything? That's how my days are! If I could extend them 8 extra hours... I might actually get everything accomplished. I'm super excited because tomorrow is Sunday and I get to sleep until 9am!! But seeing that I still have that paper to write... I'm guessing I won't get to bed until late.
I never talk about my dog - but let me tell you about her. She is very fat... and lazy. She has to be the laziest border collie EVER!!! If she's not sleeping, she's eating... so to give you an image of what she looks like - imagine the typical black and white border collie - now put it in the body shape of a fat tick!! That would be Nabisko. I decided to put her on a diet... so she is no longer eating regular dog food - I am now cooking her chicken and rice with garlic and green beans. She thinks it's a special treat, ha if she only knew.
You know what I hate? I hate people who are jerks... I told a friend the other day that jerks are only jerks because they don't like the fact that I'm better than they are!!! No, my head really isn't that big. I just talk big... I don't really think like that - but I did have a moment when someone was being a jerk that I did think they were doing it because they were jealous of me. Then I checked back into reality and realized... come on, who would be jealous of ME?! Walk a mile in my shoes and see if your jealous at the end of the day!! Who knows, you may enjoy yourself... I enjoy myself most of the time. But if you stress easily you may not want to walk in my shoes... it could potentially be stressful. The cool thing about me is that I don't let it get to me. I can't, I would end up in St Albans if I did. So I take on this carefree attitude... and sit back and enjoy the ride. Funny thing about riding is that eventually you fall off. And what do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on. There's really nothing else, that is useful, to do except to get back on. Am I prepared for the fall? Well, no one is ever really READY to fall... but after a while you learn how to fall. Now, Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm ready for anything and that I can handle anything... not saying that. I'm just saying I'm not going to just crash and burn.
New thing... well, not really knew, but I just realized it. So last night I was going to bed and I haven't been to the gym lately because I haven't had time. So before I went to bed I did some simple exercises that I normally do on the mats. OK - I talk to myself in my head when I exercise, just to keep me going. Because let's face it, when you exercise you get tired... and when you're tired all you want to do is stop. So I give myself pep talks. (No laughing) OK last night I was doing this and the phrase that went through my head was "You are stronger than this". When I was finished I was thinking about what my head had said - and I thought of all the ways I try to be strong. I try to be strong physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally... I like to put up the front that I am strong. I don't like being seen as weak. But reality is that everyone has their weak points. My new thing is to work the weak points more. Will I ever be truly strong? Probably not... I'll always have weak points. But I'll try like heck to be strong.
OK, now I'm rambling so it's time to end this.
PEACE