I desire

Some times I can't help but to be human. Imagine that? And when I'm human I some times catch myself saying a prayer that basically says, "Lord please don't let me be SO human". To some people this prayer is ridiculous. But to me this prayer keeps me in line with who God wants me to be. Even though He made me, it's my sinful nature that makes me so human.
So why am I bringing this up ? Simply because this week I find myself being jealous. I HATE being jealous... because I have a good life and I have nice things... and more importantly I have a God that loves me and wants to give me the desires of my heart. How cool is that?? But other people have better paying jobs. Not better jobs... just better paying. I have the best job in the world as a trainer/farmer. It just doesn't pay as well as some jobs do. Will it ever?? Yes, one day it will. Patience is a virtue. Some people get to move up in the world a little faster than me... because of this better paying job. This is where I have to realize that I'm a very talented horse woman... just because some people get to go to Nationals before me... does not mean they are better than me. Now the people at the Olympics, yeah they are better than me... but one day. Some people get to train with the best of the best. They get to work with only the nicest horses. Jealous? Just a little... but then I give myself a reality check. I train with a very good trainer, who trained with the best and is very capable of taking me where I want to go... which is the top. Do I train the nicest horses? I train some very nice horses. Some of them will never go anywhere. Which, as a trainer, is aggravating. Because you want your horses to go some where and do some thing. When they don't no one knows what you can do. But my own horses... they will go some where. I have a really nice Arabian... I'm planning on taking him to Nationals next year. I have a really nice Hanoverian... she is finally broke to ride (so exciting) and she is going to go places... I'll work my butt off to get her where I want her to go. I'm training two really nice Arabians that will go places. I have a Thoroughbred that will go places. I have a Quarter Horse filly that is amazing. She is bred out the wazoo and is a beautiful blue roan. Funny story... I was looking at old pictures of when I first got her... I do not know what I saw in this filly! She was so UGLY when I first got her. NOW... now she's beautiful. It is my belief that every horse is good at something. Not every horse was meant to be a show animal. Some are good trail horses, or lesson horses, or backyard horses. I am a young trainer... I can't expect to get all the nice horses right away. I am very blessed to have the horses that I do. I am very thankful for my life and for the opportunity to train the horses I do. There is no reason to be jealous of these people that train with only the best, and go to only the big shows, and get to ride only the nicest horses. I LOVE my horses with their flaws, with their bad behaviors, with their personality quirks. I enjoy them and they will take me some where. BUT patience is a virtue. God's timing is ALWAYS perfect. To be honest, sometimes God's timing drives me up the wall because it's never when I want it to be!! But I have to remember that it's always perfect. It's not sometimes perfect... or every once in a while perfect... it's ALWAYS perfect. And if I am honest and I obey God... He will give me the desires of my heart. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven and all these things shall be added unto you" - but first you have to seek God's face. Seeking God's face does not mean that you go down the "Daddy To Do" list. It means to have a relationship with Him. Seeking Him... have a conversation with Him... praise Him, worship Him... THANK Him. For being so faithful... and for fulfilling the desires of your heart.